Day 15: Half way there! WHAT.

Can't believe it. I'm actually going to be 30. And I feel so amazing. Like, everything is fantastic. And I can't really explain why. 

Here's where I thought I'd be by the time I was 30: Living comfortably (okay, luxuriously) with my gorgeous husband and twin daughters (whose names I had all picked out be tee dubs). I would have made major MAJOR moves in the music industry. Back when I daydreamed about this, I thought it would be some sort of Beyonce-esque type stardom. And that's about as far as I got.

Here's where I am now: Living by myself (and my awesome cat Isis) in my same neighborhood that I rued the day when we moved here, not famous, not even remotely famous, not rich and I want to stress how not rich I am, like laughably, embarrassingly not rich. Overweight! I'm not afraid to say it!!! OH and here's the kicker, no kids, no husband, hell I ain't even got NO BOYFRIEND. I'm so single, I be forgetting how to type good English. And somehow, amazingly, inexplicably, I'm the happiest I have EVER BEEN. 

I can actually explain it. It comes from all of the experiences I've had, mixed with the wisdom I've gained, and shaped by the influence of meditation and quieting my mind in general. Tuning into my intuition and know what's right for me, what I should be learning from, why things are happening in the way they are, and why things AREN'T happening yet. I take so much time to be patient and I always reflect. I think if I had all those things I'm still hoping and dreaming for before I reached this level of understanding myself and the world around me, I might not have grown as much. I know I have a lot more growing to do but I'm really pleased with where I am right now. It will only get better from here! 

Day 26: This episode of Gummi Bears

I got this brilliant idea to search for Gummi Bears on YouTube after someone tried to argue with me about how the theme song went. I mean, hello? And I learned that you can in fact watch entire episodes of Gummi Bears. OMG. Also, you're welcome.

(I teared up at the end, because it's such a feel good show with morals,  and mayhem! And conflict, and resolution! And it's orchestrated and there's beautiful illustration...did we 80s babies get the works or WHAT?)

Day 27: Great minds discuss ideas

I'd say I haven't been a HUGE gossiper since high school. I mean, weren't many of us? It made sense to talk about people, because, like, what ELSE is there to talk about? Seriously, High School La Toya? Because it's too dorky to talk about what you're really interested in? Like Super Mario Brothers or this really cool harmony that you heard on channel 13 and don't understand how to describe it? Get over yourself, you're a nerd, and everyone knows it. And that's why you're awesome.

But I took that with me to college too. Even though that's where I really began to find my voice, it was still so hard for me fit in with just anyone. They wanted to talk about shoes or cars and I really wanted to talk about an idea I had for how to sing this particular song. Or a really cool story I was thinking of writing some day. But I mean, "no one wants to hear about my ideas" I thought. And thank God, thank GOD for people who share your same interests. Who are as creative as you and as passionate as you about the things you love. For me, it's music and theater, and BOOKS and math, sometimes. Ah hell, it's math a lot of times. 

So I came to conclude that the older I got, the more people came to realize what they loved. Be it sports, cars, travel, music etc. And those people talk about those things, and other people, no matter what, find a way to talk crap about another person. I can only guess that it's because they haven't had the fortune to figure out what they are truly passionate about nor have they found others who love to talk about these things. I will keep hope alive that those who are late to the party.

Day 28 : Do something you love everyday.

When we were kids, we used to do all the things we liked. Or, maybe I shouldn't be the spokesperson for everyone and say *I* did all the things I liked to do. These things were:

Coloring

Reading

Video Games

Watching a tv show/cartoon I LOVED (Inspector Gadget and/or Ducktales)

Talking to my best friends (omg wait, I just remembered I loved Gummi Bears and Tale Spin too)

Listening to music

Writing stories

And somewhere along the way, maybe when I was a teenager, I thought I was too cool for all that stuff. I feel like this could have happened to all of us at some point.

"Someday, you'll be old enough to start reading fairy tales again" 

                                          ~CS Lewis

I came across this quote one day in my mid-twenties and thought, what the hell could that even mean? But there is so much wisdom in this one line. I think a lot of times we get told that when you're an adult, you've got to worry about taxes and the economy and paying your rent on time. Or we feel like the most important thing to talk about is politics or current events. I mean, yeah, that's all fine, but there's something to be said for the adult who's still in touch with their childhood, who remembers what kept them feeling the calmest and what made them the most happy. I'm not saying that you should color and play Super Mario every night after work (even though, that sounds effing amazing) but remember who you were and don't get lost in the whole adult responsibility thing. 

Day 29: Mister Rogers be knowin'

The other day, I heard a super awesome "remixed" version of some of Mister Rogers' awesome words and it really resonated with me.

I don't normally like it when people do that but this one is so tremendously well done. It's included here for your listening pleasure.

Are you discovering the truth about you? I'm still discovering the truth about me.

It's so important to find out what we feel good about doing, it's so important to feel good.

When people are honest with each other, they're able to do all kinds of fine things.

The truth is inside of us and it's wonderful when we decide to tell it.

There's so much in this world we can learn no matter how young or how old we are.

30 til 30: First post!

Well hello there bloggity blog! Haven't updated this one in a verrrrrry long time and I think today's a good day as any to start again.

If you know me, you know how important my birthday is to me. Well, I'm about to have a milestone birthday, that's right, I'm turning 30 exactly one month from today. And I thought I'd honor my life and all the immense personal growth I did in my 20s with a blog post everyday. I was thinking of discussing a virtue I've learned each day with an anecdote or something that happened during that particular day that has to do with said virtue. I don't really know. This isn't even really for anyone to read beside me and if you like it, well then, ALRIGHT!

Some other things I'm going to do during this final countdown are: starting a LOST re-watch, re-read a few Narnia books and Harry Potter books, and whatever else that generally tickles my fancy, I owe it to me to do what makes me incredibly happy as often as possible.

Thanks for reading! I hope you stop by each day. I'm gonna be dropping mad knowledge.

OMG

OMG so like...update?

Okay Bazoodles fired me! And everyone else but they called me on my first day of vacation. Like, c'mon son. 

It ended up being an incredible thing for me because the weirdest thing happened when I went to California (see previous posts)...I was INSPIRED! My friend came and picked me up from the airport and we had an hour or so to drive. So he played all this music for me and I'm singing along to it, looking out the window. All of a sudden "The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill" came on. The actual song. It's a gorgeous song but the words definitely spoke to me (I've embedded the song for your listening pleasure!) : 

My world it moves so fast today

The past it seems so far away

And I squeeze it so tight, I can't breathe

And every time I try to be

What someone has thought of me

So caught up, I wasn't able to achieve

But deep in my heart the answer it was in me

And I made up my mind to define my own destiny

I look at my environment

And wonder where the fire went

What happened to everything we used to be

I hear so many cry for help

Searching outside of themselves

Now I know His strength is within me

And deep in my heart the answer it was in me

And I made up my mind to find my own destiny

And deep in my heart the answer it was in me

And I made up my mind to find my own destiny

It's crazy! I was working at this job all year and making pretty good money. Maybe I seemed successful to someone in that field but shiz, I sure as hell wasn't successful to myself. I *barely* sang last year. Like barely. I can hardly write off operatic expenses on my taxes. Like, for real?

So my friends, that's where we're at right now. I've taken the bull by the horns and will only take temp work while I start defining my own destiny. There doesn't seem to be a clear trail for an opera singer from Brooklyn in her late 20s but hell if I'm not gonna blaze my own.