There are no words (facebook import)

I haven't been able to write since Michael Jackson's passing. I wrote this note on Facebook the hour they pronounced him deceased. Looking back on what I wrote now, and having the deep sorrow I was feeling grow by the day, I realize how completely shocked I was when I wrote this. There's even a tone of disbelief in the note. Almost like I thought it was a really bad dream that I'd wake up from.

I was actually house sitting and practicing music for the opera I'm in at the time. My mom called and told me and I went online to see if it was true. The house I was in didn't have a television. So in a way, I was left alone, in immense silence, with my thoughts and began to experience overwhelming grief. There were a bunch of things I had planned to do that day that I didn't get around to doing. I never anyone in my adult life how much I loved MJ, and didn't expect to be dealing with his death so soon.

Anyway, at risk of making you all feel sorry for me any further, I figured I'd re-post my facebook note onto here before I continue with my nonsensical banter on this thing. Even I can't find humor in everything. So, without further ado...

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~There's nothing I can write that will be worthy of his life and his memory. All I have are the words from my heart..-Me






When I heard the news from my mom, I think she halfway expected me to scream. I'm not a very emotional person outwardly but, I just can't shake how I'm feelin' right now.

Maybe I haven't had any statuses that might have clued you in, or even included him on my favorite music section [like people read that anyway] but, Michael Jackson was a staple of my childhood. He was my freaking idol. I rocked with him on all his RECORDS [yes, I said records], in my basement at my childhood home. I ran the Moonwalker VHS until I could say all the lines in it. I watched Thriller and the Making of Thriller. And guess what my first cd was? The Dangerous Album. I had parties for the dude, I was nuts!!! I made my parents stand around the cake and sing happy birthday to MJ for many Augusts at a time. I mean for real?

And today, all those memories came back to me. I tried to push out all that other stuff that happened with him in my adult life. What he was doing to his body, the court cases, all that shit. It hurt so much to hear people call him names. It hurt so much to see him do that... Eventually, I just made Mike an afterthought and became obsessed with other things [you know, like Harry Potter and LOST]. Imagine how I feel right now...makin' Mike an afterthought.

MJ, you have affected SO many peoples lives, and inspired so many to be who they are today and for that you will never EVER be forgotten..not by me at least.





RIP Michael Jackson, I love you so *so* much.